So you think you want a female….
My most common request is for female, yet oddly enough, those who want female usually also want “cuddly and affectionate”, so I find myself writing the same response over and over. I’ve decided to make this page so I can simplify my life a bit and just send the link because the truth is, if you want loving and affectionate and also female, the odds of me having that for you are slim, because the females are independent and aloof. It is the males who are better known for being loving and cuddly.
if you expect a female to be more “motherly”, let me educate you, because if we don’t watch them closely, they may eat their young like any other instinctive species..
There is valid reason that the female dog is called a bitch, but thankfully in Papillons, (in my experiences, at least), they are only “bitchy” to other females. I have to be very careful with my girls, with who is housed with whom. Only certain girls can be in the house together and in the yard together. Particularly during their heat season.
There are exceptions to every rule, but in general, a general, females are happy to see me when I come home but they are quickly bored with it and move on to their own thing. In the evenings, if they sit with me at all, they will soon move on to their own bed or to the opposite end of the sofa. If I sit with them, they will indulge me for a moment and then move to another spot they favor. My friends and family refer to them as “arrogant snoops”, which is pretty fitting.
The female affection is quite selfish in nature. They want attention when they want it, and they are too busy for it the rest of the time. Males on the other hand, are very sensitive and attentive to their owners’ needs and desires. The males live only for pleasing their people. They are loving and attentive to a fault. They follow you, every move you make, always in your shadow. Always under foot. I have found this trait to hold true in every dog breed I have dealt with and also in every species I’ve worked with. Horses? The girls are all work and no affection while boys follow you and love on you like puppies. Chickens? While the girls will eat from my hand, the males will sit on my lap to do so. With my feral barn cats, the males will let me pet them while they eat but the females won’t even jump on the table to eat until I leave.
You say you prefer female because males “pee everywhere”? I have to stifle my giggles every time I hear this. Hormonal marking? My girls out-mark my boys any day of the week. What’s worse, while the males, when left unchecked, will mark on the corners of the walls and furniture where it’s easy to clean up but the females, mark on the arms of the furniture and on the pillows and any clothes or blankets draped on the furniture. Of course, they are not all this way, but determining who will be difficult and who will be easy, in girls, it’s just too hard to say until they are older.
So, surmise it to say, if you don’t like tripping over a dog in your shadow every time you turn around, and want a dog to be more independent and less needy/clingy, then the female is the gender for you. But if you want love and cuddles at the ready at all times, what you are seeking is a male.
The perfect home for a female will consider a male too needy; And the perfect home for a male will feel like the females may be difficult to bond with.
I recently had a client who insisted on a female. When I prepared to give my usual shpeal, I asked why she insisted on a female. She told me that she wanted a dog that was independent and not always underfoot and that she found that males were too clingy and needy. It was truly a breath of fresh air to receive an inquiry from someone who wanted a female for a legitimate reason rather than an old wive’s tale/fallacy.